This morning (MOST mornings, actually…) my 2.5 year old woke up way too early. The sun wasn’t up, the birds weren’t chirping yet, even the dog hadn’t made his morning click-clacking toenail laps around the bedroom. I’d juuuuuust poured my coffee and was ready to enjoy the peace and quiet of the house before anyone else had woken up, when all of the sudden I heard it.
From her bedroom I heard her calling, “Mama, mama! MAMA!”
I know every single one of us knows that tight, squidgy feeling you get in your gut when you hear that kind of a sound blaring through the baby monitor LONG before it’s time. It’s almost like a mini panic attack. It’s full of hope and fear all at the same time, and many times (when it’s LONG before they’re supposed to be awake), it’s tinged with anger.
I took a deep breathe. I counted to ten. Okay, that’s not true. I counted to 50 hoping she’d fall back asleep, but no luck. So in I went, leaving my coffee on the counter to be forgotten about for way longer than I would have liked.
I knew in that moment, I had a choice. It was inconvenient that she was up, and it totally threw a wrench in my morning agenda, but in that very moment, I had to choose how I would let this one little detail color the rest of my day. I could start my morning out on the wrong foot and be irritated before she even has the chance to do something to ACTUALLY irritate me (and let’s be real here, toddlers are INFAMOUSLY known for pushing buttons), or I could stay calm and just make it work. So that’s what I did- and it’s probably a good thing, because we were already in full on button pushing mode about 30 minutes later).
So yes, this morning I chose to keep my cool. Do I always? No. I’m human. Sometimes I’m cranky, often times I lose my cool, and there are far too many days where I go to bed at night feeling like I didn’t get this mom-ing thing right for the day. But that’s the thing, we’re moms. We’re NOT superheroes (unless we can count multitasking or running on 3 hours of sleep a superpower, in which case, look out villians!). We are human.
Motherhood isn’t always going to be sunshine and rainbows. We have the capability to choose our responses to stress and aggrivation, and we do our best to always err on the sides of our children and families, but we are HUMAN. Today I made the choice to do the best I could with the situation I was in, but maybe tomorrow I won’t. All I know, is that by trying NOT to sweat the small things, it gives us greater opportunities to actually enjoy moments we might have missed if we’d let the anger or the irritation take over. And this is not easy. I’m a work in progress. Being a mom is an emotional rollercoaster, and we’re all simply hanging on for dear life. Only today, i’m trying to just throw my hands up in the air and actually enjoy the ride for a minute.